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Wednesday, 7 March 2007
Feeling restless
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Dil Ne Dil Ko Pukara (Kaho Naa Pyar Hai)
Topic: Church

I'm feeling bored and lazy to do my work - so decided to post something here - and it has been ages since I last wrote here.

 Don't exactly know what to write - I think I was probably have a faith-crisis lately, but think I may be on the road to resolving that. I've read a man's journey to Christianity which really helped (he was an atheist). I like it because there were a lot of logical stuff into it, without quoting the bible profusely - because that irritates me when that is used for evidence. Although, after reading that did read that some of his sources were from authors who were Christian believers (such as Denton) - so, must take everything with a grain of salt, as with most people (I'm talking about Denton here) who believe in something, they would only find evidence to prove their point rather than looking at the wealth of other evidence. Denton dealt with evolution. Although there has been criticisms and rebuttal on his dealing with evolution (because he stated that the natural selection doesn't occur but rather discreet appearance of animals - I haven't read Denton - but I believe that is what is being said - and he, I think, also indicates that Homo erectus is actually Homo sapiens) - but the rebuttals don't really show this evidence that Homo erectus is Homo sapiens (there has been a new discovery of the Turkana boy - but makes it difficult to reconcile in my mind).  So, was a bit confused there, but then read about other evolutionists who as theists who expressed that even if evolution is the way we came about being, then who is it to say that wasn't God's plan in how he created us. And that I could understand and agree with.

Although, evolution and big bang theory does leave some awfully big gaps for me ... this idea of life starting spontaneously/ randomly is quite strange, there must be something external which caused this. I mean I could understand scientists persuasion that it randomly occur, but if that was true I would expect that we should be able to create life from non-life objects quite easily at this point of our civilization ... but nothing so far. Something is missing, I'm sure (well not really - I have no idea what I'm saying!) that we still have the ingredients for spontaneous life - why isn't it occurring around us since it happened so randomly. Anyway, just came across a site on the creationist theory of science, which although I look at with some skeptism, I'm going to give it a read since even though the big flood may seem slightly far-fetched in my mind (even as a Christian! - although I do not doubt there was a flood - but a flood of that magnitude seems a bit far-fetched), I think it would be good to look at the different theories and why he oppose the common theories right now - if not anything it would make me think. Because people often get so bogged down in theories they refuse to look outside of the box for other theories (that's the scientific method for you - which always get me irritated as people just change one variable of a time with the same theory no matter how stupid it is until someone comes and decide to think outside the box, like Einstein and change the theory such as his relativity and QM).

Anyway, that website which spoke about the guy's journey to christianity is also linked to the main website, which is alright but not so robust in explaining things since it relies on the bible a lot (nothing wrong with relying on the bible but when someone is having a faith crisis, they would look at the bible very skeptically as a point of proof). Anyway, something got me miffed about the website, in that when they spoke about Islam they indicated that Allah is not the same as the Christian God, and implied that one of the muslim leader's might be the anti-christ. Now I hate that those implications, I don't like people bad-talking other people religion and thinking they won't enter heaven etc.. I think in this day and age where there are so much people are atheists you should be grateful that there are people who still believe in God, perhaps their doctrine are not the same as yours but at least they are trying to find enlightenment and the way to God as they understood how and I think when it comes to the Day of Judgment, God will be the judge of them on how they've lived their lives. And even for people who don't believe in God, I think if they try to lead a good life and help those who are around them etc., I still think of them as blessed, because unknowingly they are doing what God has commanded and I don't think God will treat them less, because he will judge them on the doctrine they follow. Because in the end, we just want ourselves and everyone around us to follow Jesus's most powerful commandment, "Love thy neighbour as thyself" or what has become the Golden Rule "Do unto others as you would like others to do unto you".

Anyway, this website also indicated that the Qur'an preached violence, now that felt strange to me since I didn't think any holy book will actually preach that, but as it turn out it does. But then again, the Old Testament is full of wars and of God sanctioning those (I cannot reconciled my God as I know it as a God sanctioning wars), but I know that these books are written by man (although lots of people say it has been inspired by God - it still doesn't change that it is written by man, because although I could have inspiration from my supervisors, the way I write or 'spin' things is entirely up to me), and so, since these books are written by man just means that they chose to believe that wars they won were sanctioned by God, and ones that they lost were not. My understanding of my God comes from the New Testament, that God I can understand.

However, there were often things I myself could not reconcile with the Qur'an doctrine and my impression of Allah (I just used Allah here to make a difference when I'm speaking of Muslim doctrine), but doesn't make the religion wrong. I do however reading this article on the compilation of Qur'an although from a Christian bias (I was looking one from a Muslim point of view but couldn't find any, although this paper I read suggests there may be few as Muslims don't think is their right to question the Qur'an). However, I've often thought before even reading this paper that the Qur'an may have been biased towards men and written for the people of that time. And it does seem that the Qur'an has been corrupted (for gaining 'riches' for men) as there has been some fishy happenings, such as the destruction of previous compilation of Qur'ans from people who knew Muhammad personally and the abrogations point to this. I think the Qur'an has been corrupted and it may be difficult to decipher where the real ayas and the corrupted ones are, but I have little doubt that Muhammad did hear words and repeated it to his companions, the problem is how much of those verses have been corrupted.

Anyway, besides all that ... my faith crisis occurred because it is more philosophical, if there is a purpose to life ... and I must say conclusively there is a purpose to life, if there was not someone we had to be accountable to and there was no purpose to life except to die and that be the end of the that, then we might as well die as soon as we born, why reproduce and populate. Why have aspirations and ambitions and moral behaviour, why the need to have purpose? Because otherwise we are purposeless, we are dead soul-less beings - but we must have a soul that is our life spirit and the purpose is to save it - its the only thing that makes sense. If I didn't have a purpose, there is no need to save this life or try accomplishing something.

Anyway, this might be confusing to other people, but my convoluted logic makes sense to me :D.

Posted by prejudice at 3:01 PM GMT
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Wednesday, 25 October 2006
Internationl Food Evening
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Lotta Love (Nicolette Larson)
Topic: Church

Well, last Saturday was the International Food Evening .... and also Divali. I called up Auntie Moona and Auntie Poona (around 9:30 am) to wish them Happy Divali, but they were saying I could come down ... and I was saying that I can't because I have the international food evening - but then I thought about it - and said probably I could do it. So, I quickly made the baked custard and decided that I would go. Drove up to the city centre about 11 (took a hour for the baked custard) and then took the 11:20 train to Euston (parked near Debenhams in the free parking zone). However, I thought it only takes 1 hr to get to Isleworth, but it took 1 1/2 hr ... more than I expected.

Anyway, I had thought Auntie Moona and Auntie Poona had already started cooking, but when I reached there - they had now started to cook. I was hoping to leave by 4:30 ... but instead left a little after 5 (because I had to eat before I go). However, they gave me food :) ... I reached up MK at after 7 - by the time I walked up to the city centre and got my car and drove it to the church, it was just after 7:30 ... obviously couldn't get home and get my baked custard - so instead was able to display authentic Trinidad East Indian food - which is probably a lot better than my baked custard :D.

Posted by prejudice at 1:06 PM BST
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Thursday, 19 October 2006
International Food Evening
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam (Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam)
Topic: Church

I am mad and vexed and irritated ...... I just lost my whole post because I accidentally hit the back button.

Just going to write something short here instead that I was planning on making a macaroni pie and baked custard for Saturday - but don't think I'll make the macaroni pie anymore since tried it on Monday - was a disaster - looked like it - but tasted terrible!! (More salt, milk and cheese probably needed).

So, shall see what I make on Saturday.

Posted by prejudice at 10:14 AM BST
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Ecumenical Council
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: Satrangi (Koi Mere Dil Se Poochhe)
Topic: Church

Went to ecumenical council yesterday - I think these meetings are getting better. At first was a bit lost on what they were talking about but now I'm getting a handle on it - pretty soon I might be able to make some significant contribution, which is why I think it is good that we have 3 year terms that way we become well seasoned and know what we are talking about in the end.

Obviously when I signed up I didn't have no idea it was a 3 year term - I thought it was 1 year ... and I sort of got scared when I realised it was going to be 3 years - but think it is better this way.

Only thing, I think that some of these ecumenical councils do tend to go on too long with lots of discussion without people reigning in and trying to come to a quick decision. It reminds me of faculty board! Now those used to be long. But all these administrative meetings are a necessary evil - they are needed although at times they can be long and boring.

Posted by prejudice at 10:03 AM BST
Updated: Thursday, 19 October 2006 10:12 AM BST
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Monday, 21 August 2006
URC Hoole Church
Mood:  cool
Now Playing: Crying in the Chapel (Tammy Wynette) - sort of appropriate :)
Topic: Church

Well, the church that Richard is .. what do you call that?? ... ministering too (whatever) - is a really nice church - well, the congregation were very nice and very friendly - I enjoyed going to that church more than Cornerstone - I think because it is a country church - and I've always gone to country churches - just think of Warrenville and Clarke Rochard Presbyterian.

We also had a Presbyterian communion (the liturgy was the same - I've heard it so many times - I must know it by now) and we sang the three Amens at the end - now that felt so Presbyterian - I really really liked it - felt so homely hearing those things (this actually only happened on the Sunday when Richard did the worship - because the one on the Saturday for his induction didn't sound very Presbyterian - and almost all the songs I didn't know).

And for communion the elders came and shared the bread and we had our wine in our individual glasses (so finally had proper communion in the UK!). I've never drank the wine at Cornerstone, everyone drinks from the same glass - I'm sorry - but no way am I doing that - you can say it and preaching it to me till the cows come that, that is about showing the fellowship and brotherhood (or sisterhood) - but no way doing that - that is just strange and unclean - hey I come from Trinidad Indian countryside culture - we don't do juta - and that's final!

Anyway, some people invited me over some coffee too - so went across and had some coffee - as I said very welcoming and nice people. All the elders at the church came up and spoke to the people from milton keynes - it was nice - I like the people at that church a lot - I was thinking of looking around for a country URC church and see if it is just like that here around MK - but I've been at Cornerstone too long and I don't mind it so much and sort of like it too - but it seems to be changing now - since Beverly left as well. I missed her leaving do since I was Trinidad - and I thought perhaps I would have seen her up at Chester but no - so, wrote her email wishing her luck this morning.

Posted by prejudice at 11:11 AM BST
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